It made me think

I saw the movie FAME a few weeks ago with my friend. It was okay. Not what i expected, and I was hopeing for a longer movie. There was just too much in it, and i don't feel as though they let the characters build their stories enough. It was just thrown out there. But that's not why I'm venting.
There was a scene where this ballet dancer was talking with his instructor or something. It was the end of his senior year. He always dreamed of being a famous dancer. He worked his butt off the entire time he was in this school. Harder than anyone else. He was being told that he wasn't good enough. That no matter how much he worked he could never be good enough. However, he would make a good instructor. The scene cut to him and his friends at a train station. I could all too perfectly see everything going through his mind. He feels lost. Like he had been lied to. Like he didn't know who he was. Like he had wasted time doing something that he could be no better than mediocre at. It looked as though he was going to commit suicide by jumping infront of a train. His friends pulled him back. I started crying like a baby during this scene, and my friend couldn't understand why.
I've been there, and seen what wanting something so bad can do to your brain. Thankfully I never went so far as to try to kill myself. But there was a point where I wanted to die. I wanted it so badly. My flute was my craft. It was all I knew for years. I practiced longer and harder than anyone else. But I wasn't good enough. No matter what I did, how I practiced, I couldn't have it. It wasn't fair. Why the hell was I here, if I couldn't be a band director, what the hell would I do with my life? I would lie in bed crying myself to sleep dreading my next practice. My next lesson. I hated it. I hated that life. So I got out of it. I pulled myself away from doing something I would one day regret.
I got a glimpse of this again. I was told that my news article wasn't good enough to get published. I didn't go into a slump though. It was concidered. I have my foot in the door, and one day I'll get through it. I love my new life more than anything.
I have something I didn't have the first time. People who want me to succeed. I have fans of my new craft. teachers that are willing to take me on as a challege to them If I can succeed as a writer, anyone can.
Dear Jesus, help me though this. Help me to pick myself up when I am down. Keep the feeling of 'why am i doing this?' away for forever. thank you. amen

New stuff...Rad stuff...stay tuned!

Hey readers! (all 2 of you!)
Well, I have some awesome announcements for you!
I have a new project comeing up with my friend Ashley. I don't wanna give away too much, just be prepared to be blown away once we get it going!
As I stated previously, I'm now a Street Team Leader for the band, Days Difference! It's been going great! I love talking to the girls every night about how we can improve the site and make it fun for the viewers. most of all, I love doing something that other people notice about a band that I love. Maybe it's that their sound is unlike anything i've ever heard, but in a different way than the other bands i love were different.(maybe i'm in love with one of the members...who knows!)
haha, well anyway, I've decided that I'm not going to update this with music stuff anymore. It was a good idea, and it got me started, and it raised a lot to my awareness. I didn't fail, I found something that didn't work out. Not to mention, I announce this stuff on my twitter all the time, and that's just easier to read because it limits me to 140 characters! Besides, if my newest project works out, I'll be doing this stuff on a more professional, regular basis. So I'm not quitting, just moving! and I'm excited!
I'm ready to take you're world by storm! Are you? haha!
Don't worry, I'll still write random things here!

Busy Busy me

sorry I've been neglecting my own music blog. I've been busy like whoah! Don't worry, it's not just because of some stupid reason, like school! I've been made one of the Street Team Leaders for the band, Days Difference! Awesome, right? So I've been doing a lot of stuff for the fansite. It would mean the world to me if you guys would check out the fansite. I'm not a founder, I'm a co-web, but I talk to the girls every night and we're doing our best to make it a good site to inform the fans. It's kept me busier than ever, but I wouldn't have it any other way! http://www.daysdifferenceonline.com/

Also, I've decided that I'm going to start a video youtube blog. So look for that in the coming week. I'll probably film it either later on today, or tomorrow.

I've been getting asked this question a lot lately..."What ever happen to Panic! at the Disco? Don't you listen to them anymore?" ugg, ignorant people. Of course I do! Just because I listen to other bands doesn't mean I've stopping likeing them. The opportunity rose for me to be a Street Team Leader for a band that I see a lot of potential in, so I grabbed it! I love music of all kinds, bottom line. As much as I love Panic! at the Disco, they don't define my musical library. None of the bands I listen to do! Yes, they do have the biggest chapter so far in my book of music, but just a chapter, not the whole thing!

I love my life right now, and I'm gonna keep on keepin' on. I'm just putting one foot infront of the other, and praying that I get somewhere!

But yes, I promise I'll try to update this more often. I'll start off by saying that Days Difference's debut album is now available on iTUNES! and their merch store...go!

teehee, i had to edit this because i'm a goober! good thing i wanna be a reporter and not an editor! Thanks Ashley for point thing out, you're awesome!