Eyes a starrin' and Toes a tappin'

I wish that everyday could make me laugh like today. After work Jenni, Lindsey, and I went to go see Twilight...I know, again! But it's in the cheap theater, so yeah! I won't mention how due to my fangirl antics, we almost ran someone over...well not really! We went out for ice cream afterwards, and it was just fun! We cracked some jokes, made fun of my naive-ness, and talked Twilight since lidsey was confused. Oh and Jenni found the sweatheart candies with the Twilight sayings, and they are hilarious! 'Bite me' 'I *heart* EC' ' lamb'
One bad thing about seeing Twilight again, I was automatically reminded about the relationship I use to have with my father, and now I no longer do. Bella and Charlies' relationship was a lot like the one I had with my dad. Random hanging out but mostly kept to ourselves. But a good father-daughter relationship. I don't have that anymore, but the sad thing is, I don't care. I can't bring myself to forgive him for what he called me. I can barely stay in the same room as him before I start crying. I wish that Charlie swan was my dad. He takes care of his daughter, and even when he doesn't agree with her, he supports her. Never got into an arguement with her, and never smoked around her. I wish I could go back to that, but I can't look at him without thinking about what he called me.

My friends an I had an awesome time though, and ice cream fixes pretty much everything. Chocolate is amazing, they say it can even mend a broken heart. It pretty much does, but the scars are still there.

Ug, i'm tired and I'm going to go try to have some sweet dreams now. Goodnight people
137 says until Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

LOST, it's where I am

I have no idea what to do, or where to go. I've lost respect for my dad. The only thing he could do to make this up to me, he doesn't have the strength to do.
I really wish some people would leave me alone. I don't care if you don't care. I really don't. So don't send your little sister to make mean comments on my facebook. You're just a mean person, and mean people suck.
I don't understand why some people need to take from other people. I don't understand why some people have things that they don't deserve. I don't understand, why you turned into such a royal bitch.
I'm figureing out who I am. I may not know totally what I am, but I know what I'm not. I'm not what you've been calling me, and I am most definitely not what my father called me.

Swear to Shake it up

I'm going to try something different to vent feelings. The people that these are about may or may not see this. Depends on whether or not they feel like reading this. Considering most of my followers are fellow PATD boardies (I LOVE YOU GUYS!) the people this is about probably won't see it. But I need a different way to vent. You know what they say, when words fail, music speaks. So I'm going to write a little personal message to a few people using a song titles, and explain why they get this song as the way I feel about them. Here's the catch, I'm not using their names...if they care enough to figure it out, then cool. If not, at least this might make me feel a little bit better.

Crush by David Archuletta- For some reason beyond my knowlege, I can't get you out of my mind. Everytime I see you, by heart and stomach get into a fist fight. I thought I was totally falling in love with you, which is rediculous because I've never spent time with you outide of the mall. I realised though, that despite the fact that I'm attracted to you like a moth to a flame, I can never be in love with you. Our morals are too opposite, and although I do belive that opposites attract, I can't bend on some of my morals. I'm sorry that I can't break a vow made infront of God for you. Of course, even with me knowing this, I can't shake you. I know this crush isn't going away any time soon, but I wish it would. You really do use your charm to cheat, but cheaters never win asshole.

Summer Hair = Forever Young by The Academy Is...- You're my best friend. We've had out ups and downs, but somehow despite the utter bullshit we went through, we are still besties. This is a fun song about being with your friends and having the time of your life. No song has been written that could describe our friendship better. You keep me in check, and made me realise that not everything about being an adult is all that bad. But even though we are getting older, we can still hold on to some of our childish antics.

Baby, I miss you by Dream Street- HAHA! This is an inside joke more then anything! But girl, I do miss you lots. Not in the way that the song implies, but nevertheless, we loved this band in middle school and I know that if you see this you'll know it's about you. I wish we could go back to high school when we were like never apart. You got me through so much, even though your sometimes a real pain in my ass! I love you so much girlie. You are the true meaning of BFF!

Karma Police by Radiohead- Bitch, there was one long point in time that song #2 would have been about you too. But heres the thing, you cannot communicate certain things to me through someone else, with intentions of avoiding confrontation. Because my dear now I'm just twice as pissed off. If my big birthday thing from you is you telling me in a text message, and at work, whatever, as long as you can sleep at night. Not to mention, if you have a problem with me, fine, friends who have been friends for awhile are going to have problems. But DO NOT complain about me to someone else and expect me not to get pissed off when I find out. I belive in Karma more than anything these days, so BITCH you've got it coming to you! All I can say when that happens, That's what you get when you FUCK WITH US!

Love You Much Better by The Hush Sound- Seriously, if I ever get the pleassure of meeting you, I'll try to be everything you've dreamed of. My perfect nobody, I'll be waiting.

Shut up by Kelly Osbourne- Seriously, can you leave me alone? Your really pushy, so please stop trying to guilt me into hanging out with you!

This felt good! This is a good way to vent. Feel free to use it!
An entire weekend without the PATD forums sucks...I need my boardies to vent to. SHOUTOUT to my BOARDIES!

Of course not, it's too early in the movie,
Rissa

Writers Block...never felt so BLAH!

Ya know what I hate more than having writers block and feeling like all the good lines/songs have been written? Seeing/hearing a line/song that I wish I wrote right after declaring that all the good stuff has been written. Then it's like DOI! Ugg, I wish I could have amnesia for like a day or something, then maybe I could get inspired. On thr bright side, as ling as my favorite bands can think of amazing words, it's all good! I just have to be able to write about it!

What I've been listening to (in no particular order):
Panic at the Disco- Duh, when am I not listening to them?
Fall Out Boy- Folie a Deux is crazy amazing!
All Time Low-their video blogs are making me hungry for their new album!
Green Day- I can't wait for their new album. Come on guys, I know you wanted a break, but 5 years? However, the album cover for this was released, and I can't wait to awn a tee-shirt with this on it! [IMG]http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd237/MarissaM07/gdalbum.jpg[/IMG]
Paramore- I'm late jumping on this bandwagon, but the more I hear from them, the more I like!
Flickerstick-I'm going to miss you guys!
Family Force 5- metal +christian= awesome!

You know that you have no life, when your fanclub's forums are down, and you have no idea what to do with your friday night! I bought Nick and Norah's infinite playlist today, it came with some cute pins. I think i'll watch that tonight!

Reinvent Love!
Rissa

"Caught up in the moment, but not in the right way." -All Time Low

Blah Blah Blah, your needs

Ugg, I hate it when people have the world, and they still want more. They always say 'This has like, always been my dream!' so then a week later you hear them say 'Like OEMGEE! my Life is SOUL-LESS!' and then I hear that this person is getting their effing book possibly published. Seriously? What more do they want? Keep your dreams, and leave mine alone, BITCH! I'll never support your one sided stupidity that you call your effing book.

My novel has been suffering. The more I write, the more I feel like I'm plagerising. I feel so un-inventive and like I'm just stealing from my favorite authors. Writers block sucks. I might just scrap it, and start over. I've been writing it in my spare time for a little over a year, and it's not even at 100 pages. I like my idea, but it's not going where I want it too. I need to seriously think of something that has never been done. But it's times I think this, I'm pretty sure that all of the good books have already been written.

But, my career goal isn't necissarily to publish a book, it's to be a music journalist. I want to be respected as a jounalist by bands. I don't want to be the journalist that bands dread going to because they think i'm just trying to get the dirt. To be an entertainment critic would be a lovely side project. But I would love to eventually finish a novel, even if no one sees it but my dog.

"I'm putting out the lantern, find your own way back home." -Brendon Urie

yet another reason to dread v-day

Ugg, my birthday was feb 12th. I hate having it so close to v-day just because it's hard to get together with my friends. In fact recent sources have informed me that someone who i thought was my friend said this... 'Why would she plan a get together around valentines day, knowing i would want to spend time with my boyfriend? That's so selfish.' REALLY? I didn't plan anything on valentines day for the love of jon! Sorry, I didn't know you and your boyfriend were planning an entire weekend long thing! Not my fault that you never talk to me. Maybe it's because since your a full two years older, your just to mature to hang with a 20 year old? Either way, your in for a hurtin' next time I see you. Not physically, but verbally I'm gonna wear you out huney!Seriously, if your boyfriend who walks all over you is more important than our friendship, fine!
"I thought we were a team, but your kicking the legs out from under my dreams" -Alex Gaskarth (i donno if this is the exact quote, but it goes something like that!)

other than this bump in the road, I had a great day today! I went shopping with my friend, Lindsey, and we met up with our friend Jenni, and Jazz. I bought some really cuuute jeans from Jimmy'z. They have wings on the back pockets, and they are dark blue, and look a little faded. Totally cute, and i might just have to wear these to the Fall Out Boy concert in may! I also spent $65 at the Steeler store! I got a sweet zip up hoodie, and some trading cards, and few other random things! I wish a few other friends could have come with us, but hey college kids have to work!

I love days when I forget all the stress about life. Just hanging out and jokin' around, and talking about concerts is what I live for!
Good Riddance, 'friend'. I wish you would take two seconds to realize that I was there through it all, and if you admit your immarturity, I'll still be there.

Easy?

Ever have one of those moments when someone says something, and you realized that you made it a lot harder than it should have been? Well I had a major one of those today. This guy I sorta kinda think about all the time, stoped by at work and said hi to me today. Everytime I see him, my heart and stomach start boxing each other, I start shaking, and act like a total spaz! I asked my friend why this happens everytime, and she simply responded 'because you like him.' I've tried to hardcore get over him, and stop thinking about him, but it's not working. I've tried to forget about him, because he's everything I'm not. Our religeous and moral beliefs couldn't be more different, and if Edward Cullen was an asshole, I'm pretty sure he'd be this guy. He's so charming, and adorable, but sometimes talks to people like they are below him. But, he's always on my mind, and I can't help it. I really do like him, and I can't even say that we don't have a chance together. Maybe God wants me to fall for someone who hasn't found him yet, so that I might lead him to God. Maybe it can be like in 'A Walk to Remember' and he'll change he'll respect my morals for me. Maybe I just live in a fairy tale, and i'm just waiting to stumble into my prince. I've liked him for awhile, admitting it on and off, and I've had my heart, not broken, but crucio'ed, I guess. (Yay for Harry Potter reference!)
Why can't finding love just be like a cute and simple Disney song?
'I know you, the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.'
'They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in the blink of an eye' (yes, I just quoted Hannah Montana)
or an 80s retro pop song?
'I want you to want me'

Unfortunatly, this song hasn't been written about this type of longing...yet.
I just wish I knew what he thought about me, and I would be able to make desitions a bit easier.

'I will wear my broken heart proudly, since thou dids't break it.' -Emily Dickenson

Some things I can't believe!

1. Some of the names of the dogs in the Westminster Dog Show. They are so adorable, but what are these people on when they name their dogs? here are a few that caught my attention.
-Achilles Dancin' in the Moonlight
-Bo Be Boppin Barbie
- Buzz Lightyear Powerhouse
I know that purebred dogs are suppose to have their long official names or whatever, but seriously?
2.That some girl got suspended from school for having a picture of All Time Low in their underwear up in her locker, on the bases that it was considered soft-core porn. Seriously, I saw somethings in peoples lockers in high school, and nothing happened to them. Some girls in high school once got high and drew male-reproductive units in their friends lockers. Thankfully I wasn't their friend. (I donno the girl, I just heard that in an All Time Low interview)
3. Criss Angel wants to kick Ryan Ross in the balls...Dude, he wasn't the only one to give you a bad review. Not to mention his thoughts on your preformance were probably only read by Panic at the Disco fans. However, critics thoughts were seen by their readers. Whatever...
4. That my piano teacher is making me preform the same piece for a grade over and over. I think that without telling me, i'm some teaching experiment, and he's trying to prove a point. I'm just getting mad because I have better things to work on than this same stupid two line minuet!
5. That someone wrote to Alternative Press magazine, and said that Fall Out Boy has been on the cover too often... four times in five years isn't that often in my book to be honest.
6. That BLINK-182 got back together! I'm happy about it, but i still can't believe it! I honestly didn't start listening to them until way after they were broken up, but when they were huge, I was listening to Aaron Carter and Dream Street...so it'll be cool to hear new stuff from them, and how modern day music has possibly affected them.
7. That there are rumors for High School Musical 4...not gonna lie, I've been caught singing and dancing along, but that's just overkill. I don't think this one is going to happen. Those 12 year olds that were obsessed with the first one are 14 or 15 now, and they are more into just looking at Zac Efron now. They arn't going to make their parents spend as much money on merch now.

Anything you can't believe?

this is an Off Blog...

Ugg, I'm really not feeling it today. I hate it when people have the world, but still expect everything. I hate school. I hate it when people can't return favors, and talk in circles. I hate it when people try to play the role of the victim, to make others feel sorry for them. I hate it when people say that they said something, and those words never left their mouth. Most of all, I hate it when people take away things from me that make me happy. Not physical objects, but just ideas, or thoughts. For example, I was suppose to take a huge trip, but through the stupidity of someone, this trip isn't going to happen. There were a few times when I was suppose to go to a few concerts, at the end of last year, and through lies and acts of cowardness, those didn't happen.
So since I'm tired of having this re-occuring sadness, I'm just going to do what I want, and let the chips fall where they may. There is a lot in this world that I LOVE, and miss. It's time that I think of myself and what best for me. Unfortunatly, there are a few things I want, that I can never have, and there is nothing I can do either way about it. But as far as those situations are concered, that what friends are for. But these days it seems that those are fading as well. So if I trust you, please don't eff it up, I can't handle another dissappointment for awhile!
I need to reinvent love for myself, before I can expect others to do it too.
"I've got troubled thoughts, and the self-esteem to match. What a catch." -Fall Out Boy